#asks (arf!)

[messymoonmad]

My Poseidon just looking down at yours “you don’t want a beard. I promise you, it’s not as fun as it looks.”

Excuse me for a second-

Possy : idc I want it. No matter how much care it needs ill do it all. I've never- *interrupts himself to look him up and down* -Are you free tonight?- I'v never wanted smth more in my life than a full beard. And im convinced this must be some kind of malicious curse that's dooming me...

Btw ill be refering to my poseidon as possy cause its easier like that

[dipperscavern]

ooooh stark men reacting to you biting HARD on that junction between their neck and shoulder HELLO.

ARF ARF oh my god BARK you awakened her ROOF down girl

NO BUT A EH RFSGA ARG. robb would literally moan, biting you back equally as hard (harder, if you so wish) (you do) (he does) — and you both would be covered in marks from the other by the time you’re finished. he almost likes marking you as much as he likes you marking him 🙂‍↕️ (freak) (affectionate)

biting him (especially that hard) (he grunts) would help lateseasons!jon flip that switch of man -> wolf in bed, as it not only works him up completely, but it lets him know how much you want this. he’s too much of a sweetheart to be mean without being absolutely sure that’s what you want too (bless him)

AND CREGAN. i just have this vivid image of his brows furrowing + nose scrunching + teeth baring from the (slight) pain of it…. a shaky exhale when it mixes with pleasure omg omgomg. pushing you down into the mattress harder i can’t REMINDING YOU OF HIS STRENGTH OH SEDATE ME

[illustrationismyhaven]

Raz is too charming for his own good…

[pirateprincessjess]

what if you fucking grow up instead of pretending to be a dog so people will give you the love you never got from your parents.

Oh! Oh! I’ve been waiting for this! I even took this picture so I could make this joke! But it’s such an autistic hyper fixation joke that I feel the need to explain it in excruciating detail!

In the early meta of Pokemon Scarlet and Violet VGC one cool Pokemon that I used was Dachsbun (a puppy Pokemon).

I would have it use substitute, which is a move that summons a pokédoll that sits in front of your pokemon. The pokédoll then takes damage instead of your pokemon.

In the picture I’m a puppy with a pokédoll substitute in front of me to intercept the anons attack! Just like how I used this stupid joke to intercept the attack! But the joke goes deeper!

Dachsbun has an ability called “Well-Baked Body” which makes it absorb fire type attacks, causing it to get a defense buff from the attack instead of taking damage. Dachsbun wasn’t a very commonly used pokemon so people often didn’t realize it had this ability and would try to use fire attacks against it.

In this post Anon is trying to burn me, so this is a fire type attack. And they had no idea that I’m an autistic pokemon turbo nerd who was going to absorb the attack into this extremely convoluted (and unnecessarily long) joke and use it to strengthen my defense. Just like Dachsbun!

But wait! There’s more!!!!

Dachsbun doesn’t have a strong attack stat, so its main offensive move is Body Press which allows it to attack with its defense stat instead of its attack stat.

Body press is a good move, but it doesn’t do a lot of damage without a ton of buffs, so it often ends up taking a long time to chip away at an opponents health. That’s exactly like how this post is probably slowly chipping away at anons health!

So to sum it up! I’m a puppy with a substitute Pokédoll that I’m using to intercept attacks, and I’m absorbing a fire type attack to raise my defense while slowly chipping away at my opponents life!

Anyway, thank you so much anon! I really appreciate you walking into this incredibly stupid trap that I’ve laid!

[highdumbpuppy]

happy valentine’s day awwoooooof

[avenin7]

How do you feel about gerudo revali?

I- O///°///O WHH HELLO

[vodika-vibes]

Hiya,

I hope you are feeling rested on your road to recovery and I wish the best.

I was wondering if you could something similar to your Tup selkie au but with a clone of your choice

It would be lovely if you have the time to do so🫶🏾

Swan Prince

Summary: You’ve been tending to your father’s garden since he fell ill. Not by choice, but because there’s no one else to take care of the garden while he’s in the hospital. The most interesting animal in his garden is a personable black swan. You don’t think twice about confiding in it. Until, one day you are late with your chores, and your swan friend turns into a man.

Pairing: Selkie! ARF Trooper Hound x F!Reader

Word Count: 2205

Prompt: Selkie AU

Warnings: None

Tagging: @trixie2023 @n0vqni @imabeautifulbutterfly

A/N: Hihi! Thanks for your request! I hope you like this story. I wasn't sure at first, but I think I came up with an idea that I like.

Sometimes, you wonder what your father was thinking building his home so far away from civilization. You have to drive thirty minutes from your home to the subway station, and then sit on the train for an hour, and then walk for another fifteen minutes to get to his house.

It wouldn’t be so bad if you were able to drive the whole route, but that’s not possible. Hasn’t been possible since the storm came through several years ago and washed away a large section of the road.

You know that this land has been in your family since your great-great-grandfather built the family home on it so long ago, and you know that your father loves the home that he was raised in. 

And, you know that as his only child, it falls on you to make sure that the house doesn’t fall into disrepair while he’s in the hospital.

You just really, really wish that he lived closer.

The house your father lives in, the house you were raised in, is very pretty. Built like a ranch, spread out rather than up, it was designed by your great-great-grandfather to make it easier for his wife to navigate.

Your great-great-grandmother lost the use of her legs in a riding accident when she was a child, and, by all accounts, your great-great-grandfather was adamant that she be able to navigate her home with the same ease as someone who was able to walk.

Your grandfather, however, was the one who built the massive garden in the backyard. 

And when you say massive, you mean it. The garden is large enough that it has a lake, a lake that your family is responsible for maintaining. Not to mention the dozens of exotic plants and trees that make it look like a garden from a fairy tale.

When you were a little girl, you would take a small boat to the small island in the middle of the lake and climb the tower your grandmother had made to house her library. You would spend hours curled up on one of her many couches and lose yourself in books and stories about faraway places.

It wasn’t surprising to anyone when you went to school for archeology. In fact, you only returned home from where you were living halfway around the globe when you got a call from a family friend, telling you that your father had fallen ill.

It would be easier if he was more tolerant of other people, but he’s refused medical care from anyone who wasn’t completely human. This is completely ridiculous, in your opinion, but he’s still able to make that decision.

And people wonder why you only speak to your father on major holidays.

You jog up the gravel path that leads to the house, digging your keys from your pocket. Your father’s car sits in the garage, where it’s been since the road was washed out all those years ago.

The bushes at the front of the house are overgrown, and you huff out an annoyed breath as you dig your phone from your pocket and snap a photo. Your old roommate from college decided to become a landscaper rather than complete law school, maybe she’ll offer you a deal.

Of course, your old college roommate is a dryad, and she’s heard more than one rant about your father’s bigoted ways, so it’s just as likely that she would only offer her assistance if you were the one who owned the house.

You pull the mail out of the box and flip through them as you open the door.

There’s nothing important, just a couple of magazines and a predatory credit card offer from the local bank. But nothing that you need to bring to your father. 

You sort the mail on the table, putting all of the similar mail together for him to sort later, and then you focus your attention on the house proper. You check that the water is still off, make sure that all of the windows are still shut and locked, and then push open the door to the back garden.

The truth is that the only reason you need to come out here every day is to make sure that the koi in your mother’s koi pond get fed. 

The reality is that if it wasn’t for your mother’s koi you wouldn’t have returned from the dig. Though, you’re pretty sure that your father isn’t aware of that fact.

You follow the familiar path from the house to your mother’s koi pond, you can tell as you get close to it that the feeder is still working and doesn’t need to be refilled, and that the filter is working well.

For a moment, you watch the familiar fish swim around in the water, and it’s almost like your mother hasn’t passed away. If you close your eyes, you can almost hear her singing her silly lullabies to her koi.

Old, familiar grief washes through you for a moment, but you shove it away with the ease of long familiarity. You straighten and turn away from your mother’s koi pond and towards the lake.

The path from the koi pond to the lake is twisting, but it eventually leads to a shallow staircase that leads you down to the lake itself.

As you approach the shoreline, a small smile crosses your face as a black swan swims over to you from the island in the middle of the lake, and makes a beeline for you, stopping at your feet and butting his head against your leg.

He makes an unhappy noise, and you smile at him as you stroke his head.

“I know, I know. I’m late. I’m sorry.” You crouch so you’re not standing over the bird, “Father had an appointment and he insisted that I just had to be there.”

The swan releases another unhappy noise, at the mention of your father and you smile at him before sitting on the sand, “You know, if I didn’t know any better, I’d say that you hated my father as much as I do.” You joke.

The swan settles onto the sand next to you, his dark eyes focused on your face.

You’re not sure how your father managed to catch a black swan and force him to live here, but the poor thing seems unable to fly. You hope that he hadn’t clipped the swan’s wings, though that would be very on-brand for him.

Your father has always viewed people and animals as possessions, after all.

“I’m going to have to spend the night, probably.” You say with a sigh, “At least my room is still set up.” You cross your legs and cast your gaze over the water, “I never should have come back,” You murmur, more to yourself than the swan sitting next to you, “This place is like a black hole, it just sucks the life out of everything.”

You watch the moon inch across the sky, and then you stretch your legs out in front of you, “If I leave now, I might be able to catch the last train back to the city.” Of course, you don’t have the desire to get up and try to do that.

So, instead, you release a sigh and flop back on the sand, focusing your attention on the stars over your head. Sleeping under the stars isn’t too bad, you think absently.

You’re jerked from your thoughts when there’s a sudden light from right next to you. You half sit up on your elbow, and you stare, speechless, as the swan next to you glows and transforms.

From a swan to a man.

Now, you’re not a stupid woman. You’ve heard the stories, and you’ve even seen proof of old curses while on digs, so you know what you’re seeing. But, never in a million years, have you ever expected to see one so close.

The man standing before you is tall, with curly black hair and dark skin. He’s wearing casual clothes, a tank top, and loose lounge pants, and he has a leather jacket hanging from one hand. 

You stare at him, jaw dropped, and he holds out his hands placatingly, “Please don’t freak out—”

“What the actual fu—!”

“Okay, that’s freaking out,” He says as he drops to his knee in front of you, “I can explain.”

“That’s a curse.” You say, your voice faint, the first stirrings of hysteria building in your chest, “Being turned into a swan is a curse—”

He clamps his hand over your mouth. He smells nice, like earth and pine and salt water. “Yes, yes it is. Please, let me talk.”

You stare at him, wide-eyed, but nod mutely.

“Okay,” Slowly he pulls his hand away from your mouth and presses his hands on your shoulders, “My name is Hound and I’m a selkie. Your father, for some reason, decided that all selkies were women and kidnapped me, and when I turned back to this form, he lost his shit and cursed me to be a swan.”

“What.”

“Because I, and I quote, ‘tricked him’.”

You gape at him, “That…makes no sense.” You finally say, “My father has about as much magical potential as a brick.”

“Well, apparently not.” Hound replies with a shrug, “Honestly, I was all set to hate you when you first showed up, but you’re not anything like your father.”

“Yeah, well. I take after my mom.” You say faintly.

Hound smiles at you reassuringly, “You’re handling this very well.”

“Uh…well, I was in Greece last year, and there was a whole island dedicated to people who were cursed to be swans—” You say, your hands coming up to press over his, which are still resting on your shoulder, “How can I break the curse? I don’t have any magic at all.”

“Well, true love’s kiss is a pretty potent magic,” Hound points out.

“Great! Who’s your true love?”

He shoots you a bemused look, “That would be you.”

“Well. Well, that’s silly.” You reply, “You don’t know me.”

“In the last couple of months, I’ve come to know you very well. Why do you think I followed you everywhere?”

You blink at him, “I feel like you need to have better standards than the daughter of the man who kidnapped and cursed you.”

Hound shrugs, “I disagree.”

You huff out a heavy breath and reach up to press your hands against his cheeks, “Fine, but when this doesn’t work, we need to come up with another plan.” You warn him before you tug him in and press your lips lightly against his.

It’s a very quick kiss because you honestly don’t think it’s going to look. Even if Hound, swan Hound, has been your only friend and confidant for months. That’s not the same as true love.

Turns out, the magic doesn’t agree.

You have to turn away to shield your eyes as Hound glows brightly, and there’s an audible snap of the curse breaking. 

When the light fades, Hound is still himself, and he looks very, very smug. “I knew it was going to work.”

You shake your head and duck long enough to pick his jacket up off the sand. You shake the sand off the soft material and hold it out to him, “It makes no sense.” You counter.

He stares at you, before he slowly takes his jacket back, “Thanks.”

“I appreciate you, and I do think of you as a friend, but that’s no true love.” You say.

“Well, maybe the curse broke through the selfless action of the daughter of the person who cursed me.” Hound offers.

“I mean, I guess that’s possible. Magic is finicky like that.” You mutter as you fold your arms.

“It is finicky like that.” He agrees, “Now, I have just one more question.”

“Hm?”

“Would you prefer an autumn or a spring wedding?”

“I…what?”

Hound holds up his jacket with one finger, “Selkie.”

You stare at him, and his jacket, for a moment, and then you curse, “That can’t be legally binding—”

“It is. Both magically and legally binding.”

“I’ve never even had a boyfriend before!” You blurt.

“That’s alright,” He replies brightly leaning in so that he’s able to press his forehead against yours, “I’m a patient man. Even though we’re already legally married, we can take our time and pretend that we’re just dating.”

“I…suppose that works.”

“Great. Now, I’m starving for real food, do you think we can go up to the house and get something to eat?” Hound asks, “Also, I need to call my brothers.”

“Yeah, alright. I’m sure there’s something in the house I can make.” You turn to head back to the house, only to pause when Hound takes your hand in his and threads your fingers together.

For a moment, you stare at your joined hands, and then your face heats. You can almost feel the amusement rolling off of Hound, “Is this okay?”

“Yeah, it’s fine.” You murmur, and then you tug his hand to lead him towards the house.

Your father’s head is going to explode when he finds out about this. But maybe that’s a good thing.

[pettyprocrastination]

colonel könig buying gifts for his favorite camgirl! (he sends you a dildo that’s the same size and length of his cock so he can watch as you try to fit it in while in a private chat)

PLEAAAASE

He's got his camera and Mic turned off cause he's still uncomfortable with you seeing him just yet but watching you struggle and your legs twitch while trying to take it all just makes him absolutely red in the face cause he can't help but imagine how the real thing would be, how his fingers would curl into your hips and he'd guide you through it while mumbling praise in your ear because "i know, I know. You almost have it all, you can do it."

he has to settle for typing it all in chat and saying how pretty you look riding his that cock.

[dipperscavern]

That anons mind is so fucking huge-the best possible wedding night a gal could have with Cregan Stark TF those lords will be SILENT when they leave the next morning!!! They wanted to spectate the wedding night and they got it (be careful what yall wish for!) and Cregans wife got her back and blown out (positive) and a baby put in her!!

i’m not even joking when i say i literally fell asleep to pondering anons wedding night thoughts…. omfg. SEDATE ME. you can’t believe cregan had them sat outside the door, asking if they wanted to do that and he’s just

“They wanted, to undress you themselves. To strip you bare before their eyes.”

and he’s maintaining such hard eye contact with you. you know he means every word, even as he brushes the hair out of your face.

“I want them to know what it sounds like, to truly pleasure a woman. As they will never find out on their own.”

and uh… they do find out what it sounds like. they find out through hearing your whimpers, your moans, your mewls. the whines and gasps of his name as they can hear the sound of skin on skin… and all they can do is stare ahead. try not to look at one another as their cocks harden & try to awkwardly shuffle out one by one.

and when some of those lords revisit winterfell a few moons later, look at that. you greet them with a polite smile, round with child.

[illustrationismyhaven]

Been sick lately... project it onto Raz pls?

I've also been going through period cramps so you get me projecting onto Lili too

[pirateprincessjess]

i've literally never seen a human in my life and i can still clock you as a dog effortlessly… oh it's bad, the adorable girly pup face. imagine how canine you look to other humans…

go do a puppy brained trick and stfu… YWNBAH.

🐶-y and ❤️-y

(I’m making fun of Josie’s weird anon hate. I think you’re super cool please don’t take this as serious hate)

Clock me harder baby

[nyaskitten]

It's already the 30th somewhere, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!! 💥💥💥🔥💥💥🔥💥🔥💥🔥💥💥💥💥💥

ITS THE 30TH HERE, FOR ME ! THANK YOU AUGHFHHFGHFS SHES SO GORGEOUS I LOVE UR ART STYLE SHES SO CUTE.....

[bxbiebun]

need my teeth in your neck while i whine and grind in your lap and you tell me what a good puppy i am♡

[dystopicjumpsuit]

I know I'm late to the game but, trick or treat! Hope you're having an amazing spooky season,

-love, Deeja 🤎🍂🍁🎃🧡

DEEEEJAAAAA!!!!! I was so happy to see you pop up in my inbox!!! Happiest of Halloweens to you, my friend! For you, I have Hound helping Grizzer into her Halloween costume. I hope you love it!

@deejadabbles

[highdumbpuppy]

some edited banner for come back ( hopefully ) hehe

[briefoxx]

I am so horny and stupid today I'm actually getting distracted and having trouble thinking omgg I need to be used so bad 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 puppy needs to be used sosososoooo badd arurrf I need to worship and serve until my mind is gone and be used by someone until their done and I'm just a gooey mess 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫